Struggle

I hope there are truly spiritual mulligans (and unlimited at that) because I fail daily at being the best I can be in God's eyes.  Every morning I wake thinking it will be different.  I will wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed and open God's Word for the perfect amount of time.  It will sink into my soul.  I will be the perfect Christian never raising my voice, or getting frustrated.  I will happily make sandwiches in the dark, speaking only the sweetest words I can find for my children as they slowly make their way to their morning routines.  I won't look at the clock and therefore never be stressed about being late.  I will remember to fix my husband's protein shake and have the coffee ready for him as I let him sleep in.

Yea right....I wish!  I fail at almost all of those things and it isn't 7:30 by the time they are complete.  I know God doesn't want me to be perfect.  I know He knows what I am going through even as I struggle and type these words.  I can only do what I can do, be aware, and strive to be better.

I even feel in this blog it isn't what it should be.  Then I think that I can only do what I can do.  Some days it may be a little and fluffy other days, more and deeper.  I fear I will say the wrong thing.  I actually worry that I will offend the Dominicans with what I write.  I know I am not the best writer and I am most definitely not a literary genius.  Thank goodness for spell check!  I only want to show my heart and hope I am not judged for my sentence structure and misuse of the English language.

So today, as I again struggle to start my day right, I can only do the best I can right now.  I am headed to The Highlands for a walk and to listen to my Joyce Meyer.  I think some quiet time as I walk is also called for.  When I return to the quiet of the house I need to journal, to share my heart with God, ask for His forgiveness as I tangle myself in the unimportant and be satisfied with myself.

I am so blessed with all I have and I need to be aware of this!!

One of my favorite songs!  I actually weep sometimes when I hear it, when I am troubled.  

I love it when He meets me in the madness!!

In His Grip,
Jodi