I have this scripture on the wall going up my stairs in my home back in Georgia.
I was just reading an article from Proverb 31 Ministry and at the bottom I saw a link and it said Do you know Jesus? I often still think I am not doing enough or I could be better, so I wanted to read it. Really make sure that I know what I need to know. It can't hurt right? I felt like I agreed with what it had to say. And then I got to the part at the bottom, so you now know Jesus so...now what do you do? Where was this back when I invited Jesus into my heart 8 or so years ago???
Number 4 says this, and references MY scripture from MY wall, that I looked at every day, multiple times a day but I guess I didn't know what it meant. Right there in front of my face and I didn't get it!! Oh so frustrated with myself!
#4 Pray and read your Bible daily:
God communicates His will for your life through His Word and prayer. Ahem....read that again! Then it referenced my scripture.
Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Psalm 119:105
I shared in my last post about how I feel I wasted a lot of my life after I invited Jesus into my heart back in a Women's Conference about 8 years ago. I beat myself up because until recently in the past year and a half, I didn't know the TRUE importance of spending time in the Word of God and my personal intimate relationship with Jesus. You know as I write this, I hear God saying "In MY timing, my love! I did this on purpose for your testimony to be what it is. For you to have the message of this most importantly. Because you didn't get it quickly enough in your mind, you will be able to tell others not to make your mistake. Well I knew then, and know now, what I am doing".
I constantly struggle with the fact that I get these aha moments where I get all fired up and feel like I am finally getting life and my calling and I want to do so much, then I see something shiny :( I hate how distracted I can be. I wish I could just drill it into my thick skull that I can only take it one day at a time. I can only wake up, spend my time in the Word and with the One who created me to be me. I then can take my day and use it to glorify Him! Maybe I don't get all the laundry done, maybe the tub still doesn't drain because my hair that is falling out by the bunches, has made it by the foolproof hair catchy thingy that I bought off Amazon. Well I can be ok waiting outside of an office for my new friend who needs help getting her kids into school. I can sit and enjoy the sounds of the island, or catch up on some emails, or read my Bible. I can use the time I would usually feel like I was wasting while I thought about all the things I have to do for good. Instead of thinking too much when I can't do anything anyway, I can sit and pray for my new friend. My friend who now has to go to the fire station to prove that her house really burned to the ground just months after her husband passed away. I tear up at her precious heart that now needs to relive that day. To see those fire trucks that maybe didn't make it to her house in time. As the little bit of normal she had went up in smoke. She does it because she wants to see how she can get her 4 kids into school. She and her children are Haitian and she may not have the right papers and surely not the money to pay for them to go to school.
I need to slow down and not be so concerned about what other people think I should be doing with my life. I know I need work on my Spanish. I know I waste time on facebook catching up on all the friends and family I left behind when I came to this country, but it comforts me to feel like a little piece of me still is there. I need to do what I feel is important. I need to be a better wife who doesn't always interrupt her husband or yell at her kids. I need to be a better follower of Christ. I need more Truth in my life. I want to leave a legacy. I want to make a difference.
In His Grip,
Jodi
