Our love cup

This past weekend I not only turned a young 43 years old, but I also learned something really cool about love. I was in San Antonio with my husband for a Fellowship of Christian Athletes conference. Every 3 years they get all their missionaries and spouses together for a state of the union. It was great to see this amazing ministry and how it ticks. There were 1,200+ people there and 19 foreign countries were represented. Before the big stuff happened there were meetings with just the international missionaries. I missed the first few days, but got to share with everyone in the last day. 

Wow! I often found myself weeping. Weeping as Marvin our worship leader sang his little heart out right to the end of himself. I don't know much about him but I think God has changed him big time, and he was in awe at where he was now. 

After Marvin sang, a man got up, I can't remember his name, but a couple of things he said really stuck with me. 1st he talked about leaving a mark on the world and what does your mark look like. He showed a picture of one young man's mark. His mark was the dents his motorcycle left on the concrete block wall  of the school gym as he drove 65 mph into it, ending his life. I know another young man who left a mark for good and even after his 16 short years on earth, his life is still leaving marks for good through his legacy.

This man went on to talk about love. How we were loved will matter in how we are able to receive love. He used the illustration of a tea cup. We are all given one at birth and how people love us is reflected in that cup. If we were cherished and loved and cared for our fragile china cup will still be all in one piece. When others love us it will be able to receive and hold that love in our cup. The love will remain inside that cup. It may even overflow and we will be able to share that love and even understand what is given to us when others love us.

Not all of us are blessed with the right kind of love though. If we are loved incorrectly then there are visible cracks that will appear in our cup. Over time our cups become so broken and cracked. So when someone comes along to love us our cup can't hold that love. It falls through all the cracks and holes. We can't receive it. It could even be so bad that our precious cup is just smashed to smithereens and it may never go back together again. When love from others is supposed to fill it, but it can't because there are just too many cracks and even after it is glued glue still leaves openings for that love to leak out. 

This made me think of a few people that really got the raw end of the deal on love. It helps me understand why when others try to love them, they can't even hold onto that love. Their cup was smashed by those that should have loved them. It is going to take years to repair that cup. And sometimes only God can put that cup back together.

I want you to think of 2 things.

1.  What kind of mark are you leaving on the world?

2. Next time you meet someone, think about what their cup might be like. The ones with the broken cups will probably stand out more, and what would it take to show some compassion towards them.

In His grip,

Jodi

Thanksliving

Today as I read Anne's latest amazingness (man she has a gift people!)

I got to thinking....

Thanksliving

Living thankfully

Thankful for EVERYTHING

Thankful for the tough stuff. Thankful for infertility, medical problems, pain, disappointments, sleeplessness nights, worrying, lost dreams, hard times, loneliness, depression, confusion, marital problems, debt, house actions, repair bills.

It is easy to be thankful for the easy things, the pretty thing, the good things. But to be thankful for the bad. That takes something special. Someone special. Jesus

Without the bad, we wouldn't know how good GOOD really feels. Without 5 years of infertility one wouldn't know HOW GOOD a baby's head smells after a bath. Or how good a baby's cry in the night sounds. Because before there was just silence in the night.

Today I am thankful for the mess of crayons on the floor and endless Legos I hopefully see before I step on one. I need to remember this the next time I get angry for the mess. And remember it could be different. No crayons, no Legos, nobody to make the mess. Yes, I am thankful today for the mess.

Thankful for all the messes. The messy days when I could barely stand my own tongue. Thankful that I was convicted. Thankful that there was a different way. Thankful. PERIOD.

Thankful for delivery from the darkness. Thankful for the light. Thankful for the Word. Thankful for God's patience with me. Thankful for sanctification. And second chances. For unending fogiveness. Thankful. Thank. FULL.

In His Grip,
Jodi

What is your God love language?

So the other day when I was meeting for book club with two sweet friends, we were discussing "how to you draw close to God?"  How do you feel the closest to God?  I was reminded of a book I read a while back by Gary Chapman called God Speaks Your Love Language (I think this is the updated version of The Five Love Languages of God).

Learn how you can give and receive God's love through the five love languages:

words of affirmation
quality time
gifts
acts of service 
physical touch

We were talking, and all three of us said we felt close to God through music...which would fall under words of affirmation.  I love music.  Even before I loved Jesus I loved music.  I love how it can bring you up and make you just want to smile and dance.  And I also love how it can bring me to weeping and just touch me in a way I didn't know I needed to be touched.  I remember one time I was listening to I Can Only Imagine, I was in my office in Duluth, GA.  I remember it so vividly.  As I listened to those words I just imagined being with God.  I think the songwriter meant when we are with Jesus after we die, but I started to think about it more in the present moment.  I thought of it as in my relationship with Him was growing and I was listening to the words, 

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine 

and at that time I was picturing myself by His side but on earth that day and seeing His face before me.  Wow, I love that!

I used that song to remember a very special person, Holt Rowland in this post on our FCA Blog, and with Holt's 4th Anniversary of going to be with Jesus being this week, I find it fitting to share this again.  I love Holt's parents Kim and Dave to pieces.  I love their hearts and their faith and understanding surrounding their son's death.  I love how Dave says " I try to look at it as we haven’t lost him we just don’t have him right now. Holt is with Jesus waiting on us and still at work here on earth". We are working now with the Rowlands and their foundation The Holt Rowland Foundation to bring more to Christ through Holt's story.  I would love to tell you more, and I will, but for now check out Kim's writing, you will be blessed for sure!  I want to be the first in line to buy her book!

I have a couple of favorites now a days, take a listen....

Fix my Eyes - King and Country



Forest Fire - Josh Wilson



Hillsong - Oceans

 

God just wants us to love Him and spend time with Him, and however we get closer to Him, He is happy!

In His Grip,

Jodi

What the world needs now...

I have had so many things running around in my head that I want to write blogs on, but every time I think about what I want to write I feel like I don't have the time, or maybe the words to get it all out.  Over the last few months a lot of things (good and bad) have been going on in my life.  I am so thankful for these things, yes even the bad, because I am a new and better person because of them!  I am going to write more often about certain things that I have found super helpful, some aha moments, share some cool graphics I have made, a cool tip, maybe a photo...just take time doing more quick posts than some deep, long reads, cause "who has time for dat?".

So here goes...15 minutes of truth.  Start timer, check!  GO

So I heard something in a conference I attended recently (confession I just hit pause and went to look where I wrote down some good stuff, and can't find it so I don't know if it was really at the conference, but I am going to give the credit to my awesome new friend Vickie anyway - unpause) that really hit home for me.

Be careful where you get your Truth because the world (church, preachers, media, internet) gets God's Truth wrong a lot of the time.

This was like a smack upside my head....DUH, aha moment.  Man, THIS is why the world is such a mess.  When I was a new believer I didn't read the Bible for myself.  I relied on sermons, and on books ABOUT the Bible by other people I didn't really know except they sold a lot of books, what other people had to say, about their interpretation of the Bible.  I didn't realize the importance of reading God's word FOR myself, so that it could come alive for ME.  So that I could HEAR from GOD in His voice through the pages of HIS BOOK, His story...the Bible.  I know this seems so trivial and simple.  But really, confession time here...I didn't read my Bible for myself until I arrived in the Dominican Republic to become a missionary (3 1/2 years ago).  GASP!  I know, crazy huh?  I just didn't know.  When you know better...then you can DO BETTER!

If we don't read God's word and let it marinate and soak in, shoot even read it a TON of times, we don't get filled with HIS TRUTH.  If we allow the news, the media, or the world be our way to the GOOD NEWS, we will be contaminated by UNTRUTH and a lot of times just BAD NEWS.

When we don't read REAL truth found in the BIBLE,we won't know when the world is lying to us.  If we rely on what the world says we will more than likely think that we are independent, we don't need anyone or anything and WE are in control of our lives.  We will be tricked into believing that money and things are most important .  We will sacrifice our family and even our lives to achieve a better job, more money, and more things.

I am here to tell you that I had a beautiful house, a job I loved, my husband was a baseball coach (whose team won 3 back-to-back-to-back state championships) and teacher at a prestigious private school,, we had one child in that amazing school and another to attend in a couple of years, we had 2 cars, I got my hair colored every 14 weeks for ALOT of money...basically we didn't lack for anything.  Now we are missionaries in a 3rd world country, all of our money comes 100% from God through amazing donors that truly believe in what we do and send us money to make it happen, we lost our house through some tough circumstances and we gave away pretty much all of our belongings to friends and even some things to complete strangers.  I say all this not to brag or make you feel bad.  I say all this to say that without the things of the world that make us feel worthy and worth something (house, stuff and money) I have never felt more rich!  We don't have any money in savings, we have bills that are more than we planned, we have a beautiful house that we rent and I feel like I have truly found complete happiness and joy living under God's wing.  I am completely dependent on Him.  I am not in control and HE is and that makes me feel free!

Time is up!

I hope you take away from this that GOD'S WORD is important.  Put down your smart phone and pick up a BOOK called THE BIBLE that will make you smarter in life than any phone ever will.  My friend Vickie said something like this...."You shower daily with soap, so make sure you WASH DAILY with GOD'S WORD".  I love that!  I don't want to go a day without GOD'S word, because without HIS truth, my life can smell pretty stinky!

I love you that read my mind ramblings!  Thank you!

In His Grip,

Jodi

Thankful

Today I am thankful.  First of all I am thankful first that I know Jesus, because if I didn't, I don't think I would be feeling so {t h a n k f u l} right now.



I awoke at about 4 or so this morning to a huge crack of thunder and the sound of rain.  An all familiar sound as it had been raining for about a day and a half.  A storm was here, not sure her name or if she even had a name but she was dumping 8 - 12" of water on little ole Hispaniola (the island of the DR and Haiti).  Officially not sure what kind of storm they called it, a tropical depression, tropical storm, Caribbean disturbance, but it was raining....a lot.  I needed to go downstairs to make sure the towels were set on the floor under the leaky windows, the bucket was under the ceiling fan in the kitchen that hot water would leak out of (yea that can't be good), that the towel keeping water out of the house was ok at that back door (since the back yard is level with the inside of the house and my small walled in ceramic tile patio likes to drain into my dining room).  I opened the door to my bedroom and the stench hit me.  Not a familiar smell, but a bad one for sure.  Oh no, I headed down the stairs and now as I look back, a little more awake now, this is where I start to get thankful.

Thankful that....

• I only slipped a little as I walked down the tile stairs half asleep
• As I stepped onto the 1st floor tile floor in my bare feet that I was already cautious and caught myself from totally wiping out on my water soaked floor and smashing my head on the tile steps
• I immediately found the source of the water as I followed the stench into our small half bath to discover the floor drain was no longer a drain but a fountain
• Thankful that the rain did stop so the water would stop coming
• It was only a little bit of sewage that was mixed in with the water
• I have a husband who I can wake up to come help me sweep water out the back door
• That even though I was barefoot standing in water when I unplugged the tangled mess of cords behind the entertainment center I didn't electrocute myself
• The power that had been on and off all day was on and we could actually see what we were dealing with
• That we only got tense with each other once and I realized letting him lead would be the best for both of us
• I had just swept under all the furniture and mopped so the million dust bunnies were now safely off to the landfill vs. floating all around my new living room swimming pool
• We have 2 brooms to sweep the stinky water across the length of the house and out the door
• I have a washing machine to wring the water out of towels that were being used as barriers to keep the water going in the direction we wanted it
• For the groups like Brookstone Baseball who brought and donated towels after they came to serve here in the DR.  For Athletes in Action who donated a bunch of towels and those yummy smelling laundry detergent pod thingies so I could wash out the stench
• My neighbors didn't yell out "Hey gringa what the heck are you doing laundry for at 5:30 am?"
• This storm came when we were home and not a couple weeks ago when we were visiting family in the US
• The kids were already in our bed so I didn't feel bad stealing their fans to dry up the last of the water and clear out the smell
• I had hot water to shower the yucky water off my bare feet and sweat off my tired body
• I live in a 2 story concrete block home with a concrete roof and glass windows so I can retreat upstairs away from the storm
• I know where I need to caulk the windows after all the rain stops and they dry out
• I can be prepared next time with a sump pump for the drain
• It is Sunday so I can go back to bed after it is all over

As I was taking a shower I thought of JBJ (Jodi before Jesus) and how the old me would have reacted to something like this.  I know it would have involved a lot of anger, annoyance and probably some swearing.  I got to thinking, or God got to talking and I listened, while I was in the shower.  He told me...

"That there are going to be storms I can guarantee that.  Following Me isn't always easy, but it will be worth it and better than the alternative.  Aren't you glad I woke you up with that huge crack of thunder, and then that second one?  Now that you look back just think of how bad it could have been if you had fallen down the stairs?  You know all those ice bucket challenges and the people lifting heavy buckets of ice water over their heads, well if you had ALS you wouldn't even be able to adjust your rear view mirror without a struggle.  You can see, walk, talk and you are pretty smart.  You have been blessed with white privilege and I take care of you through your supporters each and every day.  You are blessed right?"  It didn't feel mean.  It felt convicting. And I needed conviction.  Conviction gets me back on track.

It was at this point that I began to weep a little.  I prayed, Lord use this water to wash all the filth off of me.  No I don't mean the sewage water I fear is seeping into the cracks on my pedicure needing feet, but the times I am selfish with my time and don't give it to you.  When I am ugly to my family when they deserve grace, love and compassion and not my feeble frustration with stupid things. Lord I know you love me and you know I am going to be having this conversation with you again probably in the near future, but thank you for Your grace and forgiveness.

You know what, storms are coming.  Sometimes we will get a crack of thunder, a warning sign, and sometimes we won't.  What we have to remember is that this earth is not our home and these things are not important when you look at them from an eternal perspective.  Is my family ok, are we safe, can this be fixed?  Yes, and yes it is annoying, but there is so much more suffering going on.  Not just here in the DR as people's houses get washed away in this storm.  I can only imagine that there were many who were sleeping on their dirt floor last night who were awoken as water rushed through their little tin house.  So no pity party for me and my now clean and dry house with good smelling towels drying on the floor.

There is a whole world out there with issues and problems.  I can't live just in my my little world and not be worried about the rest of the world.  When the storms come I know I can hold on to Jesus and for me I find great hope in that.  JBJ didn't have that hope in eternity.  She had hope in what she was in control of.  She didn't even know what she didn't know.  Now that I know I am so thankful that Jesus took a hold of me and my heart.  No I am not perfect, but each day I am sanctified more and more to be what He wants me to be.  I know when I don't spend time in His word every day it is easy to slip back into the world and away from my true potential as a Christ follower.

Come Lord Jesus Come,

Jodi Shaheen

3 years and four moves later....San Pedro de Marcoris our new home!

So on June 28th we celebrated our 3 year anniversary since we left it all behind and followed Christ right to the Dominican Republic.  I sit now, in San Pedro de Marcoris, our new city, our 4th home.  I have started nesting...finally.  I feel at home in this new home, although this is not my final home.  The other day I was putting the final touches on our new home (which I love by the way), I was printing out pictures to fill, I am embarrassed to say like 6 frames, empty frames...and I am a photographer.  What a disgrace!  Well they have pictures now and I got thinking that it has been a LONG time since I have picked up my camera, been creative, had fun....so I grabbed the kids and headed out to our favorite Mexican restaurant.  On the way I planned to snap some pics of our new city to update everyone on our new adventure.  Then it started raining.  I was frustrated at first, then thought it will probably stop soon so no need to get too upset.

This is what it looked like as we got in the car

Getting our Mexican fix at our favorite restaurant Paco Taco

As we walked down to the malecon (area near the seashore with restaurants and such) the sky didn't look so good, but we never got rained on

Bet you this cool looking truck has some stories to tell...

There are many people sitting along the water on the walls, walking, and running.  San Pedro is a town of Dominicans, no tourists here, just Dominicans rich and poor, and some American missionaries we are getting to know.

Pretty cool there is so much going on here.

My crazy kids found lots of places to explore

They are getting so big! 9 and almost 7 wow!

I suggested they walk over there and hold hands.  Wyman didn't want to then it was so cute, she just grabbed his hand.  Love them!

This is her, help there is a wave coming face!

I feed her, I promise!

I love this one

Heart rock {love}

Cool snails

Storms a comin'

Love the power of the sea

Cool lighthouse we will need to explore later

We did not try the sketchy fair that was in town, but love the skyline with the Ferris wheel

Then God painted a pretty sky for us!

These piggies have had many adventures over the past 3 years, and hope to make many more here in our new city and wherever the Lord takes us!

Daddy was at Chapel for the Dominican Red Sox tonight...we missed him!

In His Grip,

Jodi

Unexpected Blessings

So I would never think I would be blessed while sitting on the toilet with a sponge and a spray bottle. But it happened.

My bathroom in our old house back in GA was bigger than some of the homes here in the Dominican. My bathroom here in my new DR home, I can clean the whole floor while seated on the toilet (seat down) with a sponge and spray bottle.  You may wonder why I consider that a blessing. I do because I am seeing my blessings now not in excess but in lack.  The world could look at my life and think I am now not so "blessed" because I have so much less. I don't have a toilet that has its own room with a door. There is no carpet. There aren't two his/hers sinks. There is no seperate shower and a tub big enough for a few neighbor's kids along with mine.  All those things now make me feel ashamed with the access I had in my old life.

Here I can see I am still blessed with so much more than most have here. I would guess and probably be right in saying that the majority of homes on this island don't have bathrooms. No running water. A hole in the ground with an outhouse looking structure around it, or maybe a chamber pot, or just the woods.  I am embarrassed for the American dream house with spaces nobody uses, rooms that sit empty, and a home with too much space. And why? Because they can. They have the means to get money they have no right having except for a good credit score. And why do we need a house with more bedrooms than family members. With electrical bills bigger than some of my neighbors make in months, maybe a year.

The world wants more. Me, I want less. Less is more. For me it is. I am so thankful for my little bathroom. And I even have a second one if something were to happen with the 1st one. I am thankful for my home here in the Dominican. Our ministry. Our supporters, because without them, I would have nothing.

Lord, thank you for stripping me of too much so I can see what is truly important!

Amen

~ Jodi